The Broken Road

Our sweet baby's hands wearing the bracelets we got her. She kept 1 and Emily has the other.

Since deciding to move back to the states, many of our friends have asked what we felt our mission was in China. Why would God choose to send us there for only 3 months? The answer is simple...to meet our daughter. We went to China open to the possibility of adoption but had no idea that was to be our mission there.

In many ways, our road in China was a broken one. There were a lot of struggles but those struggles (our Northern stars) were what led us to our baby. We were happy to help out our friends at Swallow's Nest by fostering one of their babies so they could bring in more medically fragile babies. What we didn't expect was to immediately fall in-love with our foster baby. We bonded to her and she bonded to us so quickly.

Saturday was the hardest day of my life. I had to say goodbye to my precious baby. We spent the day soaking up every sweet moment we could. At one point we all sat on the couch just holding each other and it felt perfect, like this was the family God has intended for us. Our friend, the director of the foster homes, was so thoughtful and came to pick her up so we wouldn't have to go out and say such a public goodbye. Emily was sweet to give the baby her blanket, the one she grew up with. We all gave her a hug and kiss and told her we loved her. Dennis walked them out to get a cab and Emily and I just held each other and cried. After she left, my arms longed to hold her and my chest felt cold, I was used to the warmth of her body snuggled up next to me. I couldn't look at her empty bouncy seat and crib and Dennis was so sweet to put them out of my sight.

Our friend Clay said it to me best...."Many people who spend some time in China and go back home, leave a part of their heart in China but you are different.... you are leaving a big chunk of yours here." That's exactly how I feel, like a big part of my heart was left there. Our hope is that she will soon be listed for adoption and we will be selected as her forever family. This hope is what keeps us going and tempers the sadness and grief. Thank you God for blessing the broken road that led us straight to her.

Moving On

Here goes, I've been kind of dreading writing this post because it's embarrassing and humbling for me.  Our 12 month stay has turned into a 3 month stay.  We are returning in November.  This was an agonizing decision that we spent a long time trying to figure out.  There are a couple of reasons why we need to go back to the states (one of which we aren't free to discuss here).  The other reason is this: we agreed before we came that if we all weren't doing well, then we would re-evaluate.  Well, 3 of us are doing fine but 1 is not.  Benjamin just has not adjusted to this way of life and we fear he probably never will – at least not during his elementary years.  He has regressed.  All of the hard behavior work we and his teachers did last year has been undone here. Home education is almost non-existent as he will only do a couple things a day and they are on his terms or he'll refuse all together (OK that part hasn't changed much from KDG but still….).  He dislikes going out and having people stare and paw at him (can't blame him for that one).  We can't discipline him in public because, well, he's Chinese and we're not.  So his consequences are not always immediate like they need to be.  He cries "I want to go home!!" almost daily.  He's even packed up his suitcase a few times and tried to leave, saying he was going to get his ticket (for the airplane).

 

We made a promise to him, to God, and to his orphanage that we would take care of him, do what's best for him, love him through the hard times.  Only we can do that.  There are other people that will continue to do God's work in China but we are the only ones that can take care of our sweet Benji.  That was the deciding factor for us.  How can we continue to work with orphans if we aren't taking the best care of the 1 orphan God entrusted us with?  We definitely plan to stay involved with the kids here though, doing what we can for Swallow's Nest Children's Home from the states.  We wish the situation was different, but it's not.  So, we will move on from here for now and maybe someday we'll return.

 

Dennis will actually remain on staff with the school he's at.  They've re-hired him as an international consultant.  He will recruit American teachers, build partnerships between American schools, and much more.  They've also agreed to fly him back yearly to meet with them.

 

So, what's next?  Dennis will need to finish his dissertation, compiling all of the research he's obtained here and will also be working.  Benji will go to school ASAP!!!  I think we will have our Benji back after a few weeks of him being in a structured classroom with his 6 year old peers.  I will continue to home educate Emily and work a little on the side if need be.  We don't know where we'll be living yet; we're waiting to hear back on some job applications.

 

Thanks for all of your support throughout our little adventure.  See you soon.

 

Catching Up

So, I really haven't blogged and shared our stories as much as I had hoped to while in China.  There are several reasons for that – unreliable internet service, blocked access to my blog, an active little boy, and a new baby to cuddle with.  Our eyes have really been opened up here; we thought we knew so much about the plight of orphans in China before we came but now we know so much more.  There is so much to share but a public blog is not the place.

 

Dennis is coming along on his research and we have some preliminary plans for returning home and will share those in my next post (I promise!!!).  We just have some details to figure out first.

 

For those of you that don't know, we are fostering a 5 month old baby girl.  She is the most delightful little thing ever!!!  We don't know her story, why she was orphaned, but assume it's because she has Down syndrome.  She's not available for adoption yet, but hopefully someday soon she will be listed.  She is asleep right now next to me, lying in Benji's lap.  He insisted on covering her up with his blankie and putting his stuffed animal next to her.  This is HUGE considering how much Benji likes to share his things (never).  What a good big brother he is!!  It is the sweetest thing ever watching my 2 Chinese, DS angels laugh, play and snuggle together.

 

We went to the International Fellowship on Sunday and during worship I was brought to tears by this song.  As I was looking into our sweet foster baby's eyes it really hit me that He knows her name; He hears her cries; He will NEVER leave her.  We don't know what the future holds for this precious baby (hopefully it involves us!).  We are so blessed just to be a part of her life, if even for a little while.

 

He Knows My Name

 

I have a Maker
He formed My Heart
Before even time began
My life was in hands

-Chorus-
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

I have a father
He calls me his own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

Sweet Babies

Thanks to all of you who prayed and contributed money to Swallows Nest Children's Home for the surgeries of the 3 babies with Spina Bifida.  Nearly $6,000 has been raised!!!  Sadly, one of the babies did not make it out of the NICU but we rejoice that she is out of pain and now in the arms of her heavenly Father.  Some of your money will go to pay for her hospital stay and the rest will go towards the surgeries of the 2 others.  There is still time to donate, so please do so as you feel led.  Please go to Swallows Nest website for updates: www.swallowsnestzz.org

 

Love,

Sarah       

The De-sassification Process

Here's how it works:

 

v     Take 1 tween girl and remove her from a materialistic culture where the latest fashion and coolest toys were of highest priority

 

v     Take away the Disney channel, a room full of toys, fast food on every corner and shopping malls

 

v     Place her in a foreign culture, far, far, away with a few clothes and 3 favorite toys

 

v     Have forced family time with both parents and a (sometimes annoying) little brother because there are few other options when you arrive and don't know the language or how to get around

 

v     Play games like Dutch Blitz, Uno, and Go Fish; read a book; make fun crafts out of random objects lying around

 

v     Once the tween girl and her family get adjusted, go to visit a group home for orphans with disabilities.

 

v     Take her downtown to see the beggars on the street.  Let her see that these beggars are not just poor people but that they are people with disabilities who have been oppressed and will never be offered a "real job" in this culture.

 

v     Let her place some money in the dish of the father who is sitting on the street, feeding his child with CP, his child who others may consider unworthy but who he loves with all his heart.  Let her see how this father humbles himself to beg for money so he can afford to keep his beloved son.

 

This process may be a little scary and a little painful but the end result is worth every bit of suffering!  This little girl, my precious Emily has come a long way in a very short period of time.  The same 8 year old girl that begged for a certain toy or outfit and would pout, roll her eyes and storm off if she didn't get it, has not asked for 1 thing here.  She has been polite, gracious, and selfless.  She has discovered the joy in giving!  She loves to visit the orphans and takes pride and pleasure in holding their hands in public and sharing her French fries with them.  She hugs them, brings them toys to play with and doesn't stop smiling the whole time we are with them.  She tells us she loves us several times every day and does her chores without complaint.  She makes Benji feel better when he's sad and crying "I want to go home".  She holds him and tells him it's going to be ok. 

 

It's likely we won't be here a year (more on that later) but we are so thankful for this experience for Emily.  She makes this mommy very proud!  Oh, and 1 more thing to brag about – Emily took a placement test for her home education and she has skipped 3^rd grade!  She is now in 4^th grade! 

Long Overdue Thanks

We were overwhelmed by the love and support we received before we left for China. We’ve never before had such a busy social calendar! We are so grateful for all of the wonderful friends and family we have. Here’s a little highlight of our final weeks in the US:

My church choir at Calvin Presbyterian was very kind to honor our family at an end of the season pot-luck. Thanks for the lovely paper-weight, tote bag and card! It was a pleasure to sing with you all and do so under the direction of such fine musicians, Sida and Wesley Roberts.

Our home church, the Highland Vineyard (www.churchdonedifferently.com) has been very supportive in our mission to China. They have loved our family and have been such an encouragement to us. Thanks Highland Vineyard for your very generous gift, love and prayers!

My co-workers and families from Down Syndrome of Louisville (www.downsyndromeoflouisville.org) held a pot-luck dinner in our family’s honor and we were blown away by the kindness shown to us that evening. It was really hard to say goodbye to all of you; you are greatly missed!! Thanks also for the giant card, lovely poem/picture, beautiful flowers and yummy cake!

Our parents put together a very nice going away party for us. They put a lot of time and effort into planning, setting up and making sure everyone enjoyed themselves all while helping us move furniture around and babysitting many hours while we packed. Thanks for your love and support. Thanks also to those that came and gave us such sweet gifts. We miss you!

My choral group, The Oldham County Singers honored me with a nice reception and 2 dozen beautiful roses! Thanks fellow singers! I was humbled that you would do that for me. Monday evening rehearsals were my only “me” time during the week and I really miss it! If you love to sing, join the singers on Monday nights at the Oldham County Arts Center at 7:00; you’ll be glad you did.

Emily’s friend, Molly and her family threw Emily a going away party. They went all out – from “pin the musical notes on Hannah Montana’s mouth, to swimming, silly string, water balloons, and volleyball!! Emily had a blast and it provided wonderful memories for her with her “BFF’s”. Thanks Dean family for your very kind gesture; it meant the world to us to see Emily so happy during a very sad week in her life.

Benjamin’s primary caretaker at his orphanage in Hong Kong (she now lives in Memphis), Rachel came to visit along with her husband, Kyle and son, Levi. We would have been happy just visiting with them, but they put themselves to work, moving furniture, organizing items for the garage sale, and watching the kids. We NEVER would have gotten everything done in time without them. Thanks so much Rachel, Kyle, and Levi for your generous hearts and friendship!

Beautiful

One of the hardest things about moving to China was leaving my precious children who happen to be chromosomally enhanced. I've had the pleasure of seeing some of their first smiles, first teeth, first steps, first signs, first words, first tantrums, first hair pulls, and first bites (of food). I enjoyed every single minute of it. These kids are beautiful inside and out and they are blessed with AMAZING families as well!! I just want to publicly thank all of the wonderful families who welcomed me into their homes and trusted me to work with their beautiful children. It truly was an honor and I was blessed because of you! Check out these beauties for yourselves (and if I missed any of your children, please, please, please let me know and I’ll get them in right away!):

Sosie

Charlie

Adama

Joseph

Hale

Dalton

Parker

Emily

Shaina

Angela

Landin

Addison

McKinley

Josie

Ravyn

Jonathan

Kendall

Blake

Christopher

Kendall

Mary

Mitchell