The Broken Road

Our sweet baby's hands wearing the bracelets we got her. She kept 1 and Emily has the other.

Since deciding to move back to the states, many of our friends have asked what we felt our mission was in China. Why would God choose to send us there for only 3 months? The answer is simple...to meet our daughter. We went to China open to the possibility of adoption but had no idea that was to be our mission there.

In many ways, our road in China was a broken one. There were a lot of struggles but those struggles (our Northern stars) were what led us to our baby. We were happy to help out our friends at Swallow's Nest by fostering one of their babies so they could bring in more medically fragile babies. What we didn't expect was to immediately fall in-love with our foster baby. We bonded to her and she bonded to us so quickly.

Saturday was the hardest day of my life. I had to say goodbye to my precious baby. We spent the day soaking up every sweet moment we could. At one point we all sat on the couch just holding each other and it felt perfect, like this was the family God has intended for us. Our friend, the director of the foster homes, was so thoughtful and came to pick her up so we wouldn't have to go out and say such a public goodbye. Emily was sweet to give the baby her blanket, the one she grew up with. We all gave her a hug and kiss and told her we loved her. Dennis walked them out to get a cab and Emily and I just held each other and cried. After she left, my arms longed to hold her and my chest felt cold, I was used to the warmth of her body snuggled up next to me. I couldn't look at her empty bouncy seat and crib and Dennis was so sweet to put them out of my sight.

Our friend Clay said it to me best...."Many people who spend some time in China and go back home, leave a part of their heart in China but you are different.... you are leaving a big chunk of yours here." That's exactly how I feel, like a big part of my heart was left there. Our hope is that she will soon be listed for adoption and we will be selected as her forever family. This hope is what keeps us going and tempers the sadness and grief. Thank you God for blessing the broken road that led us straight to her.