The De-sassification Process

Here's how it works:

 

v     Take 1 tween girl and remove her from a materialistic culture where the latest fashion and coolest toys were of highest priority

 

v     Take away the Disney channel, a room full of toys, fast food on every corner and shopping malls

 

v     Place her in a foreign culture, far, far, away with a few clothes and 3 favorite toys

 

v     Have forced family time with both parents and a (sometimes annoying) little brother because there are few other options when you arrive and don't know the language or how to get around

 

v     Play games like Dutch Blitz, Uno, and Go Fish; read a book; make fun crafts out of random objects lying around

 

v     Once the tween girl and her family get adjusted, go to visit a group home for orphans with disabilities.

 

v     Take her downtown to see the beggars on the street.  Let her see that these beggars are not just poor people but that they are people with disabilities who have been oppressed and will never be offered a "real job" in this culture.

 

v     Let her place some money in the dish of the father who is sitting on the street, feeding his child with CP, his child who others may consider unworthy but who he loves with all his heart.  Let her see how this father humbles himself to beg for money so he can afford to keep his beloved son.

 

This process may be a little scary and a little painful but the end result is worth every bit of suffering!  This little girl, my precious Emily has come a long way in a very short period of time.  The same 8 year old girl that begged for a certain toy or outfit and would pout, roll her eyes and storm off if she didn't get it, has not asked for 1 thing here.  She has been polite, gracious, and selfless.  She has discovered the joy in giving!  She loves to visit the orphans and takes pride and pleasure in holding their hands in public and sharing her French fries with them.  She hugs them, brings them toys to play with and doesn't stop smiling the whole time we are with them.  She tells us she loves us several times every day and does her chores without complaint.  She makes Benji feel better when he's sad and crying "I want to go home".  She holds him and tells him it's going to be ok. 

 

It's likely we won't be here a year (more on that later) but we are so thankful for this experience for Emily.  She makes this mommy very proud!  Oh, and 1 more thing to brag about – Emily took a placement test for her home education and she has skipped 3^rd grade!  She is now in 4^th grade! 

Long Overdue Thanks

We were overwhelmed by the love and support we received before we left for China. We’ve never before had such a busy social calendar! We are so grateful for all of the wonderful friends and family we have. Here’s a little highlight of our final weeks in the US:

My church choir at Calvin Presbyterian was very kind to honor our family at an end of the season pot-luck. Thanks for the lovely paper-weight, tote bag and card! It was a pleasure to sing with you all and do so under the direction of such fine musicians, Sida and Wesley Roberts.

Our home church, the Highland Vineyard (www.churchdonedifferently.com) has been very supportive in our mission to China. They have loved our family and have been such an encouragement to us. Thanks Highland Vineyard for your very generous gift, love and prayers!

My co-workers and families from Down Syndrome of Louisville (www.downsyndromeoflouisville.org) held a pot-luck dinner in our family’s honor and we were blown away by the kindness shown to us that evening. It was really hard to say goodbye to all of you; you are greatly missed!! Thanks also for the giant card, lovely poem/picture, beautiful flowers and yummy cake!

Our parents put together a very nice going away party for us. They put a lot of time and effort into planning, setting up and making sure everyone enjoyed themselves all while helping us move furniture around and babysitting many hours while we packed. Thanks for your love and support. Thanks also to those that came and gave us such sweet gifts. We miss you!

My choral group, The Oldham County Singers honored me with a nice reception and 2 dozen beautiful roses! Thanks fellow singers! I was humbled that you would do that for me. Monday evening rehearsals were my only “me” time during the week and I really miss it! If you love to sing, join the singers on Monday nights at the Oldham County Arts Center at 7:00; you’ll be glad you did.

Emily’s friend, Molly and her family threw Emily a going away party. They went all out – from “pin the musical notes on Hannah Montana’s mouth, to swimming, silly string, water balloons, and volleyball!! Emily had a blast and it provided wonderful memories for her with her “BFF’s”. Thanks Dean family for your very kind gesture; it meant the world to us to see Emily so happy during a very sad week in her life.

Benjamin’s primary caretaker at his orphanage in Hong Kong (she now lives in Memphis), Rachel came to visit along with her husband, Kyle and son, Levi. We would have been happy just visiting with them, but they put themselves to work, moving furniture, organizing items for the garage sale, and watching the kids. We NEVER would have gotten everything done in time without them. Thanks so much Rachel, Kyle, and Levi for your generous hearts and friendship!

Beautiful

One of the hardest things about moving to China was leaving my precious children who happen to be chromosomally enhanced. I've had the pleasure of seeing some of their first smiles, first teeth, first steps, first signs, first words, first tantrums, first hair pulls, and first bites (of food). I enjoyed every single minute of it. These kids are beautiful inside and out and they are blessed with AMAZING families as well!! I just want to publicly thank all of the wonderful families who welcomed me into their homes and trusted me to work with their beautiful children. It truly was an honor and I was blessed because of you! Check out these beauties for yourselves (and if I missed any of your children, please, please, please let me know and I’ll get them in right away!):

Sosie

Charlie

Adama

Joseph

Hale

Dalton

Parker

Emily

Shaina

Angela

Landin

Addison

McKinley

Josie

Ravyn

Jonathan

Kendall

Blake

Christopher

Kendall

Mary

Mitchell

Well, we've survived 3 weeks and have a few changes to report.  Dennis is still head of the English teachers at the secondary school but they have allowed him to cut back on his hours.  He's now working half days 4 days a week and all day on Thursdays.  This has been a lot better for us as a family.  We needed him here more and everyone seems to be adjusting better now.  Benji's behavior has improved and Emily continues to do well.  She even met a new friend from Australia and attended her first sleepover!  We toured the bilingual school and got an overview of the curriculum last Saturday.  While we believe she would have learned Chinese very quickly there, we feared she would fall behind in other subjects.  It's also a very long school day (7:50-5:20) and 3rd graders actually have nap time!  After looking at all of our options, we felt home educating would be best for her and Benjamin.  So, I am developing Benji's curriculum and we will use a private online school for Emily.  As soon as we get a printer she can take a placement test so we can determine her grade level, then we'll get started!

 

Our variety of foods has improved and now we are eating pb&j in addition to the noodles (baby steps)!  Benji and I have had some tummy problems probably due to something we ate but we are feeling better this week.  Emily just started feeling icky today and Dennis has a stomach of steel! The good news is that with all of the walking and limited food, we've all lost a little weight.

 

Tomorrow we will go talk with the family that runs Swallows Nest (www.swallowsnestzz.org) and I will then be able to evaluate some of the children and show the staff some techniques to help encourage the development of these beautiful little ones.  I'm in the process of asking some US companies to donate some equipment and/or developmental toys to them and have had 1 company agree already!  If you know any places that might be willing to donate, please let me know.  It really is a wonderful organization that is helping children that otherwise would not have a chance.

 

People still stare a lot but we are getting used to it now.  They stare at Benji more than the rest of us.  A couple of days ago we were out on the street waiting for the bus and an older man actually came up to Benji, took his hat off and got right in his face to look at him.  He then put Benji's hat back on and started talking to me in Chinese.  I told him in Chinese I didn't understand and he walked off.  We are assuming people can tell that he looks different and they are not used to seeing people with disabilities.  It could also be that they know parents don't abandon boys unless they are disabled and once they see him with us they know he's adopted and are trying to figure out what is "wrong with him".  I guess it's good that they are seeing him out in public, functioning just like all the other kids but sometimes I feel like they treat him like a zoo animal, stopping in their tracks to get a good look.  Between that and people tugging on Emily's hair, we really do feel like foreigners!

 

Despite all of my grumblings lately, we really do have some things that we are thankful for:

*new friends*

*an opportunity to serve God's precious children*

*a chance to experience being a minority so we can better empathize with others*

*skype so we can see and talk to our family and friends*

*becoming closer to each other and to God*

 

If you have a webcam, look us up on Skype (Dennis.Feaster).  We are 12 hours ahead of Eastern time. 

 

Until next time......

Sarah 

We made it!

Dear friends and family,

We made it to China!!  Wow!  What a week!  It has been exhausting, trying, happy, sad, and humorous!  Yes; each of us has experienced all of those feelings several times throughout this week.  Here's a little recap:

*    EXHAUSTING:  After a smooth flight to Chicago, our plane to Bejing was delayed 3 hours.  We arrived in Bejing to find out that we didn't miss our flight to Zhengzhou because it actually had been canceled.  Through Dennis' broken Chinese we made it to the Air China ticket counter where we were told they would pay for a hotel that night for us in Bejing.  We stayed at a fairly nice hotel that had very small beds. Emily's feet were almost hanging off; you can imagine what Dennis looked like stretched out.  We were awoken by someone from the front desk calling and Dennis just said "yes" to whatever she was saying but had no idea what it was about.  Then around 1am, there was a knock on the door.  I woke up Dennis and he answered.  It was some guy knocking on the wrong door.  We then got up at 3:30am (which is 3:30pm KY time) and were all hungry.  We decided to eat cookies, peanuts and candy for breakfast.  Thanks Ellen and Deb for sending those with us!  We arrived in Zhengzhou later that morning and were promptly escorted to the school where Dennis would be working and Emily would be attending.  We then were taken to see our apt. and then shopping for groceries.  Benji fell asleep at the store, Emily was not happy, and Dennis and I were very grumpy because we were so jet-lagged.
*    TRYING:  The language has been a huge barrier for us.  Dennis picks up bits and pieces but the rest of us are lost.  Very few people speak English here.  We have a beautiful brand new apartment but nothing was working at first.  The AC (which we are very thankful for and didn't expect), kept turning off, the stove did not work, we just got our phone and internet hooked up yesterday.  We managed to eat at Pizza Hut and McDonalds but they are not close.  We've been trying to guess what foods are at the store and have been living off of dumplings and noodles.  We are so sick of noodles!  We live in an apartment which is quite an adjustment for the kids.  They are used to running, jumping, singing, yelling, etc. and we constantly have to hush them, not fun.  People warned me about this one - the toilets are in the floor.  The only sit down ones are in private residences, fortunately we have one in our apt.  All the others - stores, restaurants, schools are squatters!  We try to avoid them at all costs!  As you can imagine not everyone has good aim so I don't want to even think about what's on the bottom of our shoes!  Oh, and you have to bring your own toilet paper and you can't flush it; you have to put it in the trash.  There are very few Westerners in this city and everyone stops, stares and points at us.  They don't even try to hide it.  We've had groups of people just standing, staring, watching our every move.  We've almost caused a couple of scooter accidents because people don't expect to see us but feel compelled to stare.  People have also stopped us to take our picture.  For a family of introverts (well, not including Benji) it's been very uncomfortable.
*    HAPPY:  We got to meet a wonderful couple that provides housing for orphans with special needs.  It is exciting to see what they are doing and ways we can help!  Another happy note - Emily is doing GREAT!  She has probably adjusted better than all the rest of us.  Maybe she needed to get the frustration and anger out in the US so she could fully enjoy China upon arrival.  We are so proud of her.  Dennis was promoted yesterday from teacher to Headmaster of the secondary school.  It's more pay but also more hours.  We'll see how it goes. The staff at the school have been very nice and helpful.  The president of the school even invited Benji to attend school there 1/2 day.  This is HUGE considering he has Down syndrome.  They of course also asked me to teach while Benji is in school, so they are getting something out of it too.  A lot of bartering goes on in China!
*    SAD:  We've all been a little homesick.  It's hard to adjust to such a radically different culture and way of thinking.  It is soooo different than Hong Kong.  Benji has been out of sorts, not listening very well and saying he wants to get a ticket and go home.  He is scared when we go out in public and has wanted to be held all of the time we are out (not easy in 95 degree weather with high humidity).  The last 2 days have been much better though; he even excitedly yelled "Home!" when we arrived back at the apartment yesterday.
*    HUMOROUS:  We've seen a grandma being pushed in a grocery cart with her grandchild while mom pushed the cart and shopped.  We've seen English translations on signs that weren't quite right like "woman thing" in the feminine hygiene isle at the supermarket and "enter hurrying and leave swashing hands" in the bathroom.  Babies and toddlers don't wear diapers here!  The babies just wear a shirt with nothing on the bottom and toddlers wear shorts with no crotches!  They are just open so the kids can go pee/poo whenever and wherever.  I haven't seen one in action yet but have seen a lot of naked bottoms.

Thanks everyone for all you thoughts and prayers!  We'll keep you posted.

Love,
Sarah, Dennis, Emily and Benjamin

Our House

Hey friends and family, we could really use your prayers right now. We got a call from our realtor and both of our offers are falling through, one due to financing and the other found another house. Please pray that something will work out very soon! I've gotta run; I'm frantically pricing the moving sale items!! We are having our sale this Friday and Saturday from 10-3 on both days. Come out and shop!

Restaurant Review

For an assignment this year in 2nd grade, Emily wrote a restaurant review and she chose to critique the Old Spaghetti Factory. It was a brilliant, detailed review! In fact it was so good, we felt we had to share it with the restaurant. So, this week we met her teacher, Ms. Adams and her husband at the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner and presented the review to the manager. He was very pleased with it! After reading it and posting it for staff to see, he presented her with a certificate for 4 free entrees and a free dessert. I guess we'll have to go back next week!

Her teacher was also very helpful in getting Emily more excited for China. She is such a positive person and told Emily that she knew she would have an amazing time. Her class also plans to correspond with Emily throughout the school year! Thanks Ms. Adams for lifting our little girl's spirits.



Here's a picture of the manager, Emily and Ms. Adams: